Today. I'm from where to here. We're talking about what happens when your heart speaks French. Your children speak Frankish. In your life is built between continents. In your life is built between continents. Louise. Jadu. Lulu. To everyone who knows her. Was born in Ivory Coast, raised between there and Benin, and shaped by cultures where language, food and ritual mean everything. and shaped by cultures where language, food and ritual mean everything. She grew up speaking French, but also ball, one of 63 dialects in Ivory Coast, and carries the influence of Benin's Fon traditions as well. In 2013, she came to the US through an exchange program, where she earned her degree and began building a new version of home. Today, she's a real estate agent, a singer at heart, a mother of two bilingual toddlers, and she's intimate and she's intentionally raising her family between languages and cultures alongside her fiancé from Burkina Faso. This conversation is about accents, assumptions, survival, joy, and what it really means to belong in more than one place. Welcome to. From where? To here. Thank you. I'm so happy to have you here. And before we dive into your journey, we're starting with a round of truth. There are debunk. So I have three colors cards in this bowl. And I'm going to let you hold it here. Okay. Now if you pick a blue it means truth. You'll share a surprising cultural fact. Red means there where you teach me a phrase in your language, and then the black one means debunk. You'll clear up a common serotypes about your culture. Sure. Okay. And you'll draw just one card at a time. And then whatever color you get, that's the challenge you take on. And I actually will ask you a question or provide this statement where you can expand on it afterwards. Absolutely. Okay. Awesome. Let's let's get started. Blue coined the blue. What is one thing people assume about everything that actually is true? And yeah, so people think I've always loved dancing and that is actually true. We love having fun and we know how to dance to. What kind of music do you dance on? It's usually the local music is Coupe de Cali or Zulu. is Coupe de Cali or Zulu. And we also dance on Afrobeats. We also love zouk from Haiti and sometimes American music to love it. How would you describe it in terms of the movements? It's rough. It's not easy to. It's not easy at all, but. There's a lot of variety in this. Some dance moves are pretty slow. Some of them are pretty, agitated. Some of them are pretty, agitated. More rough, you know, more difficult to learn. So I can show you something. Yeah. What, like maybe one artist that you really like or that have a a song? Personally, I like, she's a female. Her name is Josie. I also like, Rosalyn. Leo. But in terms of which artist was very popular, it's actually Arafat DJ. He passed away a couple of years ago. But yeah, he's the he was the most he was the legend. They're very good. I'm gonna have to add that to my cultural playlist now. Sure. So why don't you tell us another truth about Ivorians culture? So why don't you tell us another truth about Ivorians culture? Hospitality is a huge deal in Ivory Coast. Whenever you go to coast, you always feel welcomed. Like people will treat you like a king or queen. But hospitality is a huge deal over there. And when you go back as a tourist or as someone who has invested a long time. Are they as equally as or more hospitable or it's mainly with strangers Are they as equally as or more hospitable or it's mainly with strangers equally equally, as long as you coming from some other place. Yeah. They will treat you like because they want to make sure that you are feeling comfortable. They want to make sure that you feel at home. So yeah, they will treat you very well. how is this demonstrated? There are many ways, but the most common way is people will literally invite you into their home to offer you, you know, lunch, dinner, whatever, and have fun. Wow. That's really kind of. What's another. Another truth about the Ivorian culture. Maybe you can share with us. that that's a general, you know thing. Everyone knows that there's no way you can go to Africa and not have fun. I just we just love having fun. Yeah, that's a good thing. Yeah. That's a that's fun to have fun with. Just little things, basically. Okay. That's really cool. Where does that joy come from? You think is there a spiritual connotation or like tied in history of somewhere? I would say both. It's just I don't know, it's just part of our genes. Maybe both. You know, people in Africa can literally go out on a Saturday night to the club or to whatever event, and be back home the following day at noon. Have you seen that before? That's how bad they have fun. Oh that's great. Okay, let's throw another card now. All right. The red card. The red card. So dare to teach me an expression everyone should know in your language. So how about you teach us how to greet someone properly? Okay, so first of all, I have two different languages. One is from Ivory Coast, which is my mom's side, and the other one is from benign, which is my dad's side. So, let's start with coast. Okay, so over there, my dialect out of 63 dialects in the country is Boli. Now, the most common way to greet somebody would be Antiqua Auntie Antiqua, which means. How are you doing? You're doing okay, you know? Yeah. And in form, which is my dialect from Benin. It will be, Tell me. I out iPhone Gonja. If you want to translate, I work toward it would be. Did you sleep well? But it's actually. Good morning. Oh, yeah. The work toward it will translate to. Did you sleep well? Did you have a good night? But it's actually good morning. But it's actually good morning. And you say okay. So it could be any time and effort. Oh no, I forgot Gia will be in the in the morning. Yes, in the morning. That will be in the morning. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Any time up to lunchtime. You could say that. Oh, yeah. Okay. Very good. Like, not just early. Early morning or. Yes, yes. Oh, I love it. Okay. And is it more formal or casual? I wouldn't say both. I don't think we have a difference between formal and casual when it comes to dialects. It's just one way. So for both ballet and fun for both. So you could say that to you friends but also strangers as you come in in a restaurant let's say. Absolutely. I guess the only way to make it formal would be to add the person's name to it. Like, for example, if I'm asking my uncle, you know, if he had a good night, instead of saying I found on Gia, I would say, uncle. I found it would make it more formal to say uncle before I say it. And uncle is his name. No, uncle is just, you know. Uncle. My uncle. Oh, like my dad's brother. So you'll say uncle. Good morning. Yes, that's how it would translate. What about. Can you teach us food phrases? So in ballet, which is again from Ivory Coast. Come it with me. Or come. It will translate to blah, blah, blah, because blah is calm. So if you're just calling somebody come or come here, you say black. So delicate D is food so blah blah delicate. Yes. And then info which is from Benin that would translate to was dunno because in form what is calm. So come in ballet is black and come in for is. Wow. Wow. Yes. Yes. I love how that all sounds. This is really good. Is. I mean, it probably ties into hospitality how people in your culture like having people to eat or that's how the hospital. So it's, it just makes sense that even you pick that sentence to teach. I love that. Maybe one more. How do you show gratefulness? So let's say you have been hospitable with me by inviting me to your house. How do I show appreciation? Gratefulness for that hospitality. So if you want to say thank you in ballet, you're gonna say more, more, more, more, more, more. That's how you say thank you. Yes. And you got. You can't just say. Momo. Put the intonation in there. Momo. Yes. And then in in for its inner chain way. And no chain way. In on chain way. In on chain way. Very good. Thank you for sharing. Okay. And now let's. Well, we have debunk left at this point. The black card. Sure. What is a stereotype about your country? That's completely false. And I'm going to bring some stereotype for you here. And maybe you can expand and debunk them. So the first one I have is because Vodun is widely practiced in Benin. Many people assume witchcraft or danger. Can you explain why? Well, Vodou has always been portrayed as something that is used to harm people. The easy word is witchcraft. People think of it as witchcraft. And I think this is due to the fact that the religion uses a lot of, things like, you know, animals and stuff that have to do with sacrificing and stuff like that. But in reality, Vodou is actually a religion, just like Christianity or Islam. just like Christianity or Islam. And, it is not used to harm only like people think. Voodoo is also used to do good things, to actually bless people and to solve family traditional issues. So yeah, this is this is not true. How does it feel when people are afraid of that type of practice? And it's some it's tied into part of your culture. How does that feel? It's a little bit frustrating because it makes people scared to actually go to Benin. But Benin is actually a beautiful country to visit like. And when you go to Benin, people over there are they are so nice. They are so welcoming, just like in Ivory Coast. So we probably have people somewhere in the world who are missing out of this just because they think if they go to Benin, something's going to happen to them or, you know, there's witchcraft there, there's Vodou there. They don't want to risk their life, but, you know, they can actually go. It's a beautiful country to visit. It has a lot of history there, specially if you go to, there's a city. They're called Vida. These people literally kept a lot of historical things related to the slavery era. You can actually see those sites even today and learn a lot about the history there. So go to Benin if you have a chance. There's no witchcraft. Nobody is going to kill you. Yeah. Did they teach that history in school? And do you know? Absolutely. I went to school there. I did my high school in Benin, and they actually taught us. That's where I learned about Vodou. That's where I learned that what was actually a religion in Benin. So yeah, they will teach you everything about what happened in the past. You know how we got to nowadays. You know how we got to nowadays. What are we doing today, how we got to that point? They will teach you everything about it. Yeah. Okay. Very good. Now, second. Second stereotype for you. Africa is not a country. Oh my God. All right, let's address it now. So. Yes, yes. So, every time someone asked me, oh, you have an accent, where are you from? And I say I'm from my request. I'm really not sure if they hear Africa or if they actually hear Ivory Coast, but there will always be like, oh, you're from Africa. I know somebody from Kenya. And I'm like, yeah, okay. But, Kenya is a whole different country. Coast is a whole different country in West Africa. So these are two different countries in the continent called Africa. So Africa is not a country. It's a continent. do you have maybe one more stereotype you'd like to debunk about your culture? Maybe the thing about bowel women and this is actually true. This is actually the truth. It's not it's not just the stereotype. It's the truth. Bible women love dating people from other cultures. I don't think it's a choice, but that's how we are. I guess I don't think we plan on doing that. But if you go to Ivory Coast and you meet a lady who is married to somebody from some other country, usually she's ball. I don't know how it happens, but where does it? I don't know. It's just a thing. I guess we're very open minded. Yeah, I don't know. I thought maybe there's, like, something that is particularly adored in a specific culture nearby or who knows? Yeah. Okay, well. Fun fact. But yes. Bible women, usually when you see people, that, you know, more cultural people, if you ask them, where are you from? They'll usually tell, tell you, my mom is Bible. My dad is from friends. My dad is from friends. My dad is from Italy. My dad is from whatever. And the mom is usually Bible, so it's actually a joke over there. People use it, use it as a joke and they'll be like, oh, come on ladies, why you all love dating all the people like that. But yeah, it's a thing. I don't know where this comes from. Okay. Well in your case you getting, you know, from close. Yes, yes. Okay. Well, awesome. Louise, that wraps up the truth there in debunk segment. Thanks for playing along. You are welcome. And I'll take the ball from you. Sure. You were born in Ivory Coast? Yes. You moved to Benin for high school, like you mentioned earlier, went back home to an American school program and then came to the US in 2013 through an exchange partnership. That's correct. And you chose Alabama partly because of the warm weather? Yes. What do you remember most about arriving in America, in the United States? I remember a lot of things. I have so many memories, but I mostly remember how lost I was because in Ivory Coast, the first language there is French. People don't speak English in Ivory Coast at all, except for people who have been abroad, like like me. But local people is French or whatever dialects they speak. So I was completely lost. I knew a few words and I was knew how to use sentences, but I wasn't very confident when it came to having a whole conversation with an American person yet, especially because of the accents. Yes. Let's talk about the accent. Yes. What was it that like? Did you. So did you first think that Americans spoke the same English everywhere with the same accent? Yes. I really thought that all Americans spoke the same way. But no, no, that is not true. It's only when I got here that I realized that there's, like, a southern accent. Northern accent, you know, Western accent and whatever. So, one thing I want to talk about is how I spent the very few years, the very first years in America, in school, learning English and going to school. And then when I started going out, you know, going to the store and all that, I realized that that English was completely different than what I was hearing in class. People were speaking faster sometimes, and sometimes they were even asking me very, you know, easy stuff. But I just wouldn't understand it just because of the accent. For example, somebody would ask me, hey, how are you doing today? And I would literally be like. Excuse me. What? And then you'll repeat them. They'll repeat themselves and be like, how are you doing today? I will still be lost until the person goes like, how are you doing today? Then I'm like, oh, I'm doing great. Yeah. So yeah, that took me. I don't know how many years, but it took me some time to finally understand and catch the speed. I mean, it's hard at first. It's just that's not how you previously heard it. So then that comes as a shock. Almost. Yes. Yes, I thought I knew how to say. And you also did not come alone? Yes. Tell us more about that. And was it actually easier the fact that you didn't come along and who was with you? So we came as a group of, I believe we were six students and that was amazing. It made my life so much easier because in a situation like that, when you at last you don't know who to talk to, you don't know who to go to. You don't know where to go. It makes your life so much easier to have somebody to talk to and figure out together how to do those things. So yeah, definitely. That's good. That's good that you were able to connect with people that you knew already and kind of like go through maybe more difficult moments. Exactly. Plus we were here for the same reason school. So yes. You know. Yes. And you've shared that some people made you doubt your English ability. Like how did that affect your confidence, especially when you first got there thinking, well, I know how to speak English. And then you're like, kind of doubting yourself. Like, what was that kind of process like? So initially it did affect my confidence a little bit because I was like, okay, so you learn English back home, you came here, you still learn English. How come you can't have this conversation where the other person can actually understand what you are saying? So it was a little frustrating at first, but not for too long because I told myself, go out there and talk to people because that's the only way. And this is, this is an advice that I want to give to anybody who comes to America and feels like, oh, I don't want to have these conversations. They don't understand me anyway. I don't understand them anyway. I just want to stay in my room. Don't do that. The only way to actually be comfortable speaking English is to have conversations, interactions with local people. So don't be scared. And another thing that I love about Americans, they don't judge you don't feel judged when you say something wrong. They don't have that look. But French people do. Face speakers do. I'm sorry, we do. If you say something wrong in French, let me use communication. For example. Which which is communication in English. If you say, look, communication instead of lack communication. The French speaker in the room would be like, no, no, no, no, don't do that. It's low. It's not low communication. It's like communication. They're going to want to make sure that you say it the right way. But I feel like Americans or But I feel like Americans or English speakers, English speakers, I know they notice that you made a mistake, but you don't see that look. I know they notice that you made a mistake, but you don't see that look. You don't see that judgmental look. They're not going to be like, oh no, no, no, no, no, you can't get away with this. You gotta say this. They don't do that. They'll just slide with it. Which makes me comfortable, which makes you comfortable. So don't be scared. Just go have these conversations and be yourself. Then you're going to be fluent. I can definitely see that in about the face expressions. Could it be that French are just more expressive? Maybe. I don't know, but I don't know. But usually we would not let that slide would be like, oh no, no, no sweetie is actually not laugh or lot not lit. Yeah. And I think the advice that you gave can definitely be applied to people learning a different language, a second language. Just go out there and confidence comes with practice. Yes. So if you have the courage to put yourself out there, go talk to strangers in the language that you're learning with locals. That's how you're going to improve. And you're going to get your ear used to the actual lingo and the actual intonations that are used by locals, and you're going to be able to practice and and see, okay. Am I able to communicate? And to your point and gosh, I love that you said that. Like it's really about just passing the message across. It's not so much having the perfect grammar because the lower the la, the feminine and masculine, I will still get what what you're trying to say whether you use one of the two determinants. Yeah I call them determinants but yeah it determinants. Yeah. Correct. Oh that's really good. Let's talk about cultural rituals. I really am interested personally to hear about this one. So in West Africa So in West Africa Ivory Coast three kisses Benin four kisses. Yes. In France and in Quebec two kisses. Kisses. Okay, so what was it like adjusting to American greetings? Yeah, that was hard to. Because, when I first came to America. Because, when I first came to America. Of course, I wanted to give everybody kisses on the cheek, because that's what we do in Africa. And then you will notice how the person is like, you know, they're going to put that very like, oh, what is she about to do? But it didn't take me long to understand that, you know, after the first two people, you know, that you can't kiss people anymore. So, that was not a huge adjustment. It was just like, I want to kiss y'all. Why? Y'all don't want me to kiss you? But it's okay. I guess I have to adapt to the her. But. Yeah. But. Yeah. And also, another thing is the smile. Americans have that thing where they will smile at you if you walk past somebody, or if you happen to have eye contact with them, they'll be like, you know, they'll give you that smile. That was a little weird to me because I was like, we don't know each other. Well, I would just why would you not let me kiss your cheek and you will randomly smile at me? You don't go together. And I was like, why are you even smiling at me? But you know, now I also do that. I do that to you. I guess I'm used to it now. So were you more used to having a poker face and not necessarily a knowledge people, if you don't know them exactly. Or if we happen to have I contacts for, you know, for a little longer than usual, then I would just immediately greet you like, hey, oh, okay. You go directly and direct the kisses. I'll kiss you. Okay. Something that I'm sure many wonder is how do you determine who to kiss? Who to not kiss? Do you do? When I say kiss, I'm meaning the cheek. Kisses as a greeting. Do you greet stranger the same way you agreed to your friends, your family? If it's someone. If it's a friend of a friend, let's say a situation where you're meeting them for the first time. You don't know them, but they're friends of your friends. How? Like, how do you navigate that? Tell us, usually if you go out there, maybe you have the store or whatever, and you just see somebody randomly and whatever situation leads both of you to greet each other is probably going to be a handshake, not kisses, because you've never seen the person before you just met at the store. So no, no kissing. However, a friend, However, a friend, family members, even friends of friends, they would get that case. Because even when you introducing me to somebody for the first time. Hey, this is my brother. This is my sister. We'll be like, oh, nice to meet you. It's pretty much the same for us. Yes. And then tell. And when I say for us, I mean in Quebec, that's kind of how we. I guess it's the unwritten rule. What about the type of kisses? Oftentimes American are like, oh, like, how do the kissing works? Like, do you actually give a real kiss? And I'm like, well, no, not really. But what is it in your culture? So it's just it's just this on the cheek. Sometimes you don't even have to use your lips, especially when it's not famously members or close friends. It's just cheeks against cheeks. So like but the mouth is not actually on the person's cheek. It's like both cheeks touching and you're like, and that's it. Okay, one more question about the kissing. Do you start with left or right cheek? Oh, it doesn't matter. I don't think it matters. I don't think so. Do you present the cheek when you start doing when you do it? Do you present the cheek when you start doing when you do it? Yeah. Oh, well, it's usually so spontaneous. You know, both people know that it's going to happen. So they're already there. Ready. They're like, that's how I feel about it too. But then when I get asked a question, I'm like, well, let me think first. No, no, no. It's just I don't know, it's natural, it's genuine. It's it just happens. I think. I lean on the left to present my right cheek. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. Okay. Love it. But as long as you don't make a mistake in. Yeah, kiss, kiss, you shall be on the lips. Yeah. Then you're. Yeah. Okay. You also grew up from your away from your parents at times you shared that. How did that independence maybe prepare you for surviving or thriving in a different country? Can you share a little bit? Prepare me a lot, because I feel like if I didn't have that experience in the past, me coming to America for the first time without ever being away from from my parents, I mean, it would have been harder, but I was kind of used to it. You know, I left my parents so early to go to Benin for school, and that was my dad's decision. He just decided to send me over there because they have a they have strict school systems over there. You have a strict like they're going to make sure you actually go to school, you know, certainly decide you want to do something else. Like you go to school like you're supposed to and you get your degree. And yeah, it was pretty strict over there. So that's why my dad sent me there for seven years before I came back to my parents. So. So how old were you? I was 11 or 10 when I left. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah. Relatively young age to, like, grow independence. And when I came back, I was 17 or 18, I believe. 17. Yeah. What's the age of becoming an adult in Benin? In Ivory Coast, I believe is the same. I know for a fact that coast is 18th April. If is the same in Benin, I believe so. Okay. Yeah. Now I want to switch gears slightly here and I want to talk about home. Now, the version that you're building, which you're engaged to someone, as I mentioned from Burkina Faso, which means your household is already layered culturally when you imagine your future. Years ago, did you ever picture yourself building a bilingual home in America? Honestly, I did, I did because like I said, I'm ballet, so I okay fact I'm a valley lady and, I didn't have any restrictions when I when it came to the, the the kind of man that I want to be with any physical or cultural restrictions. My only restrictions were internal, you know, mindset and stuff like that. But when it came, when it comes to physical, especially cultural, I really didn't have any restrictions. I didn't care if he was from Ivory Coast, from Benin, American, Chinese. I really didn't care. So I kind of saw myself being with somebody, especially me, living over here. I knew that my chances for being with somebody I knew that my chances for being with somebody from Ivory Coast were very little. I knew it was going to be somebody, maybe American or African, but not from my records. I already knew that. And I get, I guess. God bless me. And gave me somebody who is from Burkina Faso, which is right next to Ivory Coast. Yeah. So yeah, that's awesome to see a family there in Burkina Faso. Yes he does actually he's he's whole family except for his brothers. But the whole the rest of the family is still there. So whenever you do you go back and visit. Yes. Yes I do every year except for this year. I didn't go this year. That was actually the first year that I didn't go. But usually we go as a family, all of us, every year. And when we get there, we usually go straight to every coast. And then from Africa we always visit Faso from there. So yeah. How long does your trip last? Typically. Oh, it's a long trip. It's a very long trip. So, usually you will stop in Europe first, maybe in France or Bruxelles. And that trip from here to France or Brussels is about six hours. No, I'm sorry, eight hours. Eight hours. And then from from there to Africa is another six hours. So that's like about 13 hours. Yeah. That's a long flight. Yeah. It's a very long flight now. I'm glad there's a few, companies out there who they started doing direct flights. And those direct flights are around nine hours. I haven't I haven't tried that yet, but I can't wait to try it. Yeah, that was probably. Yeah. How long do you end up staying when you travel? Usually two weeks. Yeah. Okay. Wow. And at home you mostly speak French with your kids. Was that a decision you made consciously from the beginning. Like this is a non-negotiable or did it just happen naturally. So yes, it's a decision that I made consciously because in my mind I want my children to speak both languages. I want them to be fluent in French, in English. Now, one thing I noticed is the people that I know who are French speakers, who actually speak French at home who are French speakers, who actually speak French at home with the children, and I'm talking all the time. They speak French a lot. Whenever the children start going to school, I noticed that the children actually start being more fluent in English than French, even though they've been speaking French the whole time. So in my mind I feel like English will. It will come anyways. And that's why I'm very, you know, hard on the French because I want them to be fluent in both, not just one. So I speak French at home because I already anticipate that when they start going to school, they will eventually, you know, speak English. What a gift that you giving them. Really? Yeah. What are some rituals or maybe just things that you do into day to day that help you keep up with just staying in French mode all the time? Because I can't imagine, like you speak English also, you speak other languages and sometimes our mind might just go and oh, this is the language and sometimes our mind might just go and oh, this is the language and sometimes our mind might just go and oh, this is the language in which I want to express myself because it feels more natural. So how do you bring yourself back in those moments So how do you bring yourself back in those moments to be like, I need to speak French and I need to do it. And even if they talk to me back in English, I need to keep it in French. How do you do that? So, and yes, we do have rituals and routines. So, and yes, we do have rituals and routines. So there's one thing, ever since there were babies, there's a song that I've been singing to them in French. And that song. Don't even try to look it up. It doesn't exist. What? Oh, you made it up. No, my sister made it up. My sister made it up for her babies. I was very young when she had her babies. She just. Can I sing it? Absolutely. So she goes, They pay the da da da. They they the elder. Silly. See, baby de la petite. And that translates in English to you. Oh, yes, baby. Sleep sleep sleep sleep, baby. Sleep. Sleeping in the bed. If baby dares and sleep. The little cat will catch you. So she kept singing this song. And I know she made it up to you. And it just stuck in my mind. I was so young when this was actually happening, but it just stayed in my mind. So when I had my own babies, I started singing that song to them. So they know the song in French because, you know, I learned it in French myself, so I sing it in French until today. Oh, that's. And that's why I say these babies, they speak frankly because TV teaches them stuff in English. All the family members, you know, their cousins, they speak English with them. But at home we speak French. So the kids will say things sometimes like, For example, if my boy wants to say, mama opened the door, he knows open as over, which is open in French. So he would go like mama over the door. And that's why when people ask me what language do your your children speak, I say frankly, that's that's the answer. Yes. Because they really mix both. And how old are they now? The boy is three. He just turned three last Monday and the girl is about to be two next. Well, March the 6th, I think it's going to be Friday. So. Yeah, that's very close in age. Yes, yes. So they can learn really together? Yes. Pretty well. Yeah. That's really cool. And does your fiance speak French because you said French at home? Oh, more than me. Sometimes I forget myself and I speak English. But him, he's very strict on that. He only speaks French with them. Did they switch depending on who is talking to them? No, I don't think maybe still a little bit like, okay, I'm using both because that's what comes naturally. Yeah, they're constantly used both. I honestly think they are a little bit confused right now, because one time I remember my boy, coming to me with a little car and he said, mama, what's this? And I said, I said, car. I said it in English. Like I said, I forget myself sometimes. I said car. And he's like, no, it's what you? Because he already asked the same question to his dad, and dad said, what you in French. Now he comes to me, he's expecting me to say what you and now I say car. So he's like, no, mama, it's what you. I said, oh yeah, it's what you're you're right. Yeah. So yeah, he's gonna come and correct you. Yeah, yeah. That's so cute. Now I think we have to talk more about food, because food in there is never just food. And I know you're a big foodie. You put a lot of different recipes. I ask you if I ask you to describe. And I'm going to mention different cuisine. Can you tell me what stand out like? What comes to mind as far as like what stand out from that cuisine? So first, if I say I've read Coast cuisine, what comes to mind? Food to. Food to. Can you expand on what that is for? Those who might be familiar with it too, is basically pounded yam, cassava, or planting, that's all. So you just found it, and once you found it, it will get this elasticity and you make like a ball out of it. You accompany that with a soup and that's all. That's your for two. That's something I want to try. Yeah. It's really delicious. You might need your recipe if you're willing to share. I'll make it for you. And my God, that would be a treat. Benin cuisine Benin cuisine. I want to say what? What is what? What is. How you call it a starch? I believe it's corn starch. Yeah. Corn starch. So you basically boil water. Very easy to make. You borrow some water and you pour the starch into the water, you keep stirring and then you want to when it starts boiling and cooking and everything, you want to remove half of the, you know, the whole mixture and then pour some more starch in it. And then finally at the other half that you remove, you initially removed, you want to add that other half back into the the pot and steer again. And then you have your wall. How long does it take to cook? About 2015 to 20 minutes. Okay. Yeah. Okay. American cuisine wings, chicken wings. What kind of sauce? Or if rub or what's your what's your seasoning of choice on chicken? Well, if it's me, I'm going to choose hot lemon pepper. I want both in their source and the lamb. One pepper okay. Yeah. French cuisine French cuisine. I was so, so many stuff coming through my mind right now. Macaron. Croissant. All this risotto. What kind of risotto? I don't know, like I've had my risotto. Well, I don't know if there was no mushroom in the ones that I tried, but it had some veggies in there, some mates. Of course. The rice and some cheese. Yes. Cheesy risotto too. Okay. Love that. Tell me if each cuisine walked into a room, who would they be? So, starting with Ivory Coast, I didn't quite get the question right. If I know that's the funny one. That's if each cuisine is actually a person or person of the cuisine who walks in the room. If it's Ivory Coast cuisine, who's the person that represent that cuisine in your mind? Oh, okay. Well, That's a tough question to answer. I would say my mom, because she's a great cook. Yeah. If it's average coast, I would definitely say my mom. Same from Benin. I will, I would still say my mom. Did she pass down the recipes to you? Probably, yeah. Because, you know, I grew up watching her cook. Well, not for too long because, again, I left the house around when I was about 10 or 11. So after that, I think it was a natural gift. Yeah, because I only watched them from my first ten years. But I guess I'm naturally gifted when it comes to cooking. Yeah, yeah. What about American cuisine? Who do you think of? That's a tough one. I really don't know who to think of. Yeah, there's a guy that I'm thinking about. He's a great cook from Minnesota, but I don't even know his name. I follow him on social media. He's great, but I don't know his name. Have you any of his recipes? Yes. You have. Yes, I have actually cook like three of his recipes, but I haven't recorded. I don't think I recorded his recipe cause I usually focus on recording the African ones, the ones that are not American, because I want people here to discover. So usually when I make American dishes, well, if I have time, I'll record it. But if not, it's not a big deal. Yeah. And when you say recording is because you share those on your own social media. Yes, yes. And I noticed that. And that's what actually from the conversation of having you on the podcast, I love it. And when you're here in the US, how do you recreate those recipes? Do you have access to all the ingredients, spices or whatever you need to recreate those particular recipes from your culture? Yeah. So unfortunately, I do not have access to all the ingredients. I do have access to some of them, thanks to the Asian store in Homewood. So there's an Asian store, their hometown something. It's on Green Springs Highway. They have most of the African ingredients that you need. However, if I have time, I would drive to Atlanta because they do have African stores over there that have everything you need. So that's what I usually do. I would drive swap liner maybe once or once in a while, once a month, and buy a lot of everything I need, and especially things that I know that I cannot find in Alabama. So I would get those from there. And yeah, so you stuck up on all the way up on everything that I can't find. What are some ingredients that are harder to find that you have to get out of them? There's a lot of them. For example, there's one thing that we call I'm sure everybody who knows that will start laughing from where they are, but we call it Sumatra. Yeah, that's very hard to find. And it's just a spice. It well, it's not really a spice. It's, locust beans. Locust beans. It is used in Nigerian cuisine, Benin cuisine, and some part of Ivory Coast. Not all cultures in Africa use that. My culture doesn't normally use it, but because they use it in Benin and I'm, you know, I have a double culture. So yes, it makes it more rich. Okay, so you did end up cooking with that due to that mixed origin of yours. And that's really good. And when you cook I'm curious, like does it bring any type of memories for you? Like does it take you somewhere else when you actually cook things that are particularly from your culture, whether it's Benin, whether it's Ivory Coast? Absolutely. It definitely brings me back to those memories. When I was younger, sitting next to my mom, cooking at home, I mainly remember her every time I cook. I remember her because she's my like I said, she's the cooking figure to me because she's a great cook and she used to cook a lot. So and I was literally young and sitting there watching her. So yeah, yeah. Does it even open up to like, a version of you before you came to America? It's mostly memories. Childhood memories. No, really, just a few of them. Just just when I was back home, staying with my mom. Because when I was in Benin, going to school, I wasn't cooking like that. I wasn't a, you know, this I wasn't a, you know, this school, it's a school where everybody stays on campus and you can't you can't go out. It's not like campus is here, where you can go out and go to the pizza place or grocery store. You have to stay indoors between those walls. You can't go out at all. So everything is cooked on site. Everything is done on site. So I wasn't really cooking over there. So. Okay. Yeah, okay. And I'm curious now kind of leaning into the languages. I don't know, maybe deeper level when you speak French let's say, does it feel like different in your body or in your head like compared to when you speak English? It depends on where I am. So when I'm home, I guess I'm comfortable with with both languages, but when I'm home and we have guests around, of course, speaking French, it sounds weird, like it's like because I know they can't understand it. Or if we have French speakers, then speaking English starts getting weird. So it depends on who's around. And you know where I am. Definitely misspeak in French at work when I go to the brokerage, for example, and somebody gives me a call, maybe my mom and she she speaks French, you know, it feels weird. So I usually tell her, mama, let me call you back when I leave the office. Okay. Yeah, okay. Because as soon as I say something in French, you know, everybody is like, oh, who's who's talking? Yeah. You know, you're getting attention and you're like, wait, I didn't mean that. Now, has your relationship to your dialect changed over time? It did greatly. What ways? I literally forgot a lot because, you know, I don't get to speak it. Even when my mom calls me, we speak French. The only time I was speaking, Madeleine, was when I was, you know, with my mom staying at home. And that was a long time ago. And when it comes to my dad's dialect, that was when I was back in Benin, which is also a long time ago. So ever since I've been in America, I haven't gotten the occasion or the opportunity to actually speak either ballet or phone. So I'm literally forgetting a lot of it. Yeah, sometimes I'm okay. How come I don't remember how to say I want to say something, especially when I talk to my mom in ballet. I want to say a word. And I just realized that, mom, how to say this word again. And she's like, did you really forget how to say. And unfortunately, I forgot. Yeah. I mean, being away from home and then not having to practice it, I guess it does that. And I'm sure, you know, deep down is just in the moment. You're like, yeah, what do you do? But, you know, when I start thinking harder than the wood comes back to my mind, but it's no longer spontaneous. You know, it used to be very spontaneous before, but now I have to, you know, search for the word in my mind and be like, oh, and then I find it, you know, do you think you will ever teach your kids to dialect as, I don't think I will confuse them as much. They already have a lot on their plates right now, but I will. I wouldn't find any problems if they go back home and my mom speaks, you know, my dialects with them, that I will really appreciate that. But right now I just feel like they have a lot on their plates. Having to learn two languages is not always easy, so if they grow up and they decide they are interested in learning those dialects, I mean, I will be very happy. I will be very happy, but I'm not going to put that pressure on them. Yeah. In French, English, you feel like that's the better focus. Yes. Especially because they are they are international languages. The dialects are not. You will only speak those dialects if you go to Ivory Coast or Benin. And I don't know what the choices will be in the future. I don't even know if they will want to go live there. So yeah, well that's fair, that's fair. One other thing that's very interesting about the the culture that you're from. It's around the weddings. Yes. Because in your culture, marriage is not just about two people. Yes. Both families have to be present. The groom formally ask for the bride's hand. There is a there's a detailed list of things to give the bride, the family of the bride. And that might include clothing, jewelry, money, gifts that have some symbolism. And there's also a watch singing. There's a. There are prayers and a lot of celebrations around that event of getting married. Yes. Tell me, tell us, why is that ceremony so important? And like, what does marriage really represent culturally and religiously and for you and your family? Yeah. So there are very important. Like you said, the reason why I believe is because marriage is not easy sometimes for some people. And then sometime down the line, if unfortunately, the couple is going through some challenges, because there were witnesses when they were getting together, those same witnesses can be used to try and make things better. If the couple get to the point where they can't fix it on their own, does it make sense? Yeah it does. You can't literally, go back to these people. And when I say these people, I'm talking parents, uncles, aunties explain the situation and they can literally help you go to the other partner and be like, you know, you're part of the family. We love you. We we were present. We were witnesses when you guys were, you know, building this family. So we want things to get better. Sometimes they have the best words to kind of, you know, remediate the situation and make sure that the couple doesn't get to the point where they want to split or, you know, hate each other or whatever. Yeah. So it's more than just the Romans. Yes. It's really like, hey, you have my own my whole family backing you up in the same way goes the other way. Exactly. Do they have to be married or. Doesn't matter. The aunt and uncles and parents. If there's a matter. Okay, typically we are there. Typically they are. Typically they are. But they don't have to. But most of the time they are okay. Another reason why this is very important is also because in Africa, a child's education is not just the problem of the parents, it's everybody's, everybody is concerned. And sometimes we have work, you know, we have things that we need to attend. And, that's another reason why the whole family needs to be there, because sometimes you will need them to watch over your children to go, do certain things. And because they were involved in the union, they will be more than happy to, you know, treat your children like they were their own and keep them whenever you can't. And things happen in life, you can pass away. You know, something can happen to you. But because again, the family was involved, it will be quick for, you know, somebody to claim the child and be like, I watched her grow up. I saw the parents getting together. I'm gonna, you know, raise that child instead of them going to a facility or something. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah. So really, marriage is a is a family thing. Yeah. Yeah, it makes me think of the expression like, it takes a village to raise a kid and everyone brings. And it's an addition to what the parents are able to offer. Yes, yes. It seems like your family and his family It seems like your family and his family really need to be united, despite the culture differences. Maybe. And despite, I don't know, any other things that would prevent that unity. Exactly. Like, what are your thoughts? Or have you seen always? A family's blending very well in your experience. So is it easy for you and your. even in Africa there are cases where both families just don't get along. Even though they also went through the whole ceremony, the whole, traditional wedding thing, they just don't get along. And you will oftentimes see those members of the family, you know, uncles, whatever, try to bring everybody together. But yeah, there are cases where whatever the problem is, is just a bigger problem than being united. So. So could it be an option or could it be a problem if the families don't get along but the couple does. Yes, it could be. This is usually yeah. And this happens a lot. There are marriages that actually failed just because both families don't get along. That's how important it is for us. So we we would try oftentimes we would try to make it easier to we would try to bring everybody together. But if it doesn't work, It doesn't work. You know, and I've seen people literally split a whole marriage just for that. I wouldn't do that, but I've seen it. I've seen people splitting just because their families don't get along. Well that's how much of a big deal is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So does it start with all the gifting. Can you maybe share a little bit more like how much money does. Is it the groom. All the time. Spending on the rides. Always the group. Never the bride. Like what are we talking here? Like $1,000, $10,000, 20,000, 100,000? I don't know, it depends. It depends. But what is the men willing to offer? I guess whatever they are willing to offer. But there's always. There's always a limit. There's a, you know, there's always an amount that you can't go on there because it will be like insulting the family, literally. But it really depends on the groom's financial situation. But the more you give, the more you show the family that you're going to treat the daughter well. So yeah, some people do crazy amounts depending on the financial situation. What's the minimum threshold? We're just and even that even that depends on the culture okay okay. For. Let's take my example, my Bible side, they don't ask much. My been inside. They ask a lot. So we followed the benign way. But what is a lot or what is not I think ball how much were they ask? I don't even remember, but that was not a lot. It was very minimal. Like arranged maybe of like okay, for the money itself. I want to say nothing less than. Let's say $50 an up. Oh, okay.$50 in the up. But, you know, everybody got their own way. But that's like the the one that's not a lot. Right. That when you say that I will consider$50 in sorting. Yeah. No, I mean but yeah some people are in really you know, they're struggling. They just can't do more than that. And they'll just do that. Okay. Let's take a different approach on this. So let's say I'm a I'm a someone that wants to get a bow lady a Bible or no bending and then ask for more. So I want to get that. Been in, want to marry her. She's the love of my life. Now I need to impress her family. Yeah. Why would you recommend that? I invest money wise, but also gift wise? Money wise? Definitely no less than $2,000. Okay. Yes. All right. Because if you do anything less than that, it's not going to be that impressive. If you really want to impress, you got to do more than 2000. Okay. Let's go. That's just for the money because you also bring other stuff along with the money. You bring some traditional attires, traditional clothes. Well, in my case, I got the money. I'm not going to discuss about it, but yeah, I got the money. I got some purses, I got some purses, jewelry, the traditional clothing. There's also some traditional stuff. These are not expensive at all, but they have to be present. They have like a traditional significance. They have to be there. It's like nuts. I really don't know how to call it in English, but it's like some nuts. How do you go with your Kola? Kola? Yeah. Back home, we call it Kola. They have to be there. What does it represent? Anything? What does it represent again? I don't even know. Oh, okay. But the uncles and stuff, they will lay it on the ground and it's like they will ask the ancestors, especially if you lost your dad. Like in my situation, if they're agreed to the union, because even if they are not physically there, we will also we will still ask the permission and the positioning of the collar will tell you if the dad actually agrees or not. Yes. Oh wow. That's serious. Yes, they can literally read it. And they would. They would tell you ahead of time, okay, if the collar is facing this way or that way, it's bad. If two of those five collars, this is just an example. Five. It could be six. Whatever. Yeah. Are facing that way is good or whatever. Then they would throw it in front of everybody. In my case, the collar faces the right way. So I was like, who? Wow. So yeah, yeah, you can be in for a great surprise then. Yes, yes or no? I mean, we're not so good. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so you got the purses, you got the money, you got the traditional clothing. The collar was there, the collar. And then you also have to bring something for the dad. Even if he passed away. Just. You have to do it just like he was. If he was a, you know, alive. So you bring something for that, you bring something for mom. And when I say something, I mean money in clothings. You can bring other stuff if you want, but there's a minimum. And usually the family, the bride's family will tell you what they need. They will tell you what the what needs to be. They will give you the required list. Okay, that was my next question. Because if you don't really know them yet, it could be tricky to know what to buy to make an impression. Yeah, but maybe there's like the list, unless you know what the list is. But so lists are personalized and then you can go by that list. So it makes it easier. It makes it so much easier. And on that list they will tell you what's required. Like you can't skip that. And they'll also tell you what's optional. And then you can do everything you can choose amongst the optional but the required you have to provide those. And if you don't you're not going to get the blessing to marry. Yeah, they're going to be a little frustrated. But everything is negotiable just like in real estate okay. Is that of your culture to how like there's negotiations happening? Yes, yes. Oh tell us more about that. Like, for example, during the wedding, if you give money and the bride's family feel like, that envelope is not big enough, then you got to send your uncle's in onto his to negotiate with the bride's family. Because if you don't provide them up, they're not going to give you their daughters. So. And there's another interesting thing during that ceremony where the bride doesn't come out right away. So while all these negotiations are being done, the singing, the cheering, the whatever, the conversations, the bride is not there yet. She's hidden somewhere during landing up, blaming up, drinking to champagne and makeup. Yes, yes. With her bridesmaids, you know, singing, having fun and what they're going to do to trick the groom. They're going to put like a huge maybe you can use like a drape or a piece of cloth or maybe even a blanket, whatever, to cover. Maybe for ladies or three ladies or whatever and bring them in front of the groom, including you. And he better choose you. They're going to ask. They're going to ask him which one is your bride. And he better choose the right one. Okay. So wait, is it just the face that's covered? Like, can you see the body a little bit? Whole body. The whole body is. And to trick you even more, they will choose ladies who have the same body type. Yeah. Oh, no. Crazy. Yeah. Did that happen? They did it for me. It did it for you? Yeah. No way. Well, in my case, he was confused. So he asked the advice of his big, big sister. And the sister led him wrong. She chose the wrong person. If you do, they're going to ask for more money. Okay? So you don't even know your wife. What? You need to put another 10,000 on the money. They can just throw on them out just because you made the wrong choice. But fortunately for him, the second time he chose, he chose right. But the first time he met the wrong choice because he didn't know who to choose, and he asked his big sister to choose for him. And she chose somebody else. Did she know? She didn't know. She didn't know. She didn't know. She thought it was a trick to she got tricked and he had to pay more money for that. Wow, I love it. Yes. And the type of wedding, is it, like Ballet Benin or. What's the name of the winning? Well, it's just called the culture. The dots. That's it. It's called the same thing in both cultures. Mine was we had to represent both cultures and they have different attires, different food. So we try to. It was very well mixed. I had to wear, I had to go change, remove the ballet attire and then put on the Benin attire. And guess what? His family also wanted me to wear the book in that Faso attire. So I had to change. I changed my self maybe three times. 3 or 4 times. Yeah, it was it just the one thing that was not even the civil wedding yet? Yeah, that was not even the oh, you got a civil. We haven't done that yet coming up, but coming up and then you're gonna have what kind of wedding in the future. Yeah. The civil want the legal one, but the, the main reason why we haven't done that yet is because we want to do it back home, because we feel like if we do it in America, there will be more people to bring over here. And, you know, with the visa, it's sometimes difficult. So it's going to be easier to bring the people from here to Africa because they won't have much visa issues, you know. Yeah. So you need a visa or they need a visa to come to America. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Yeah. And sometimes they don't get it. And would it be a ballet Benin. It would be. It will be. But we have to represent all of it. All three of it. Oh that's beautiful though. Yeah. It's going to be an amazing wedding I'm sure. Yeah. Wow. I love it. Okay, well, before almost coming to an end, but I want to bring this back to our listeners. One of the questions we got is, how do you raise children to love their heritage in a country where they are surrounded by a different culture every day? Well, I wouldn't say it's easy, but, I just try my best to represent all sides because I'm aware of the fact that one day they will become completely American, you know? So I definitely don't skip that education, that culture I bring on the table, I bring food from, you know, all three cultures. I want them to make them explore everything so they can make better choices later. So we just keep it genuine, natural. We speak whatever language comes first, whether it's French, English, whatever, and we just let them grow up in that confusing yet beautiful environment. And then, yeah, they'll make their own choices later. Yeah. They will. Yeah. What are you most afraid of losing culturally? I guess the. The fact that back home, we were very we were usually doing things as a group. Like I mentioned earlier, I feel like in America, people are very solo writing. People are very, you know, by themselves until there is like a family reunion or whatever. And that's one thing that broke my heart when I first came to America, going to the grocery store and seeing somebody who is, very, going to the grocery store and seeing somebody who is, very, very, very old doing their own groceries by themselves. I didn't grow up like that back home. If you get to that age, you probably be at your children's place somewhere. You always have somebody in the family, you know, taking care of you or whatever. And I definitely don't want to lose that community thing. Because me being in America, especially now, now I have a man of whole family. I'm not by myself. Of course I have my hands full. But before that, I was very much by myself, living in, you know, by myself in my apartment. And I feel like this was starting to make me, introvert. Introverted, you know, I was starting to enjoy it, which is not how I grew up. You know, I was always surrounded, and I don't want to lose that. I definitely want my children to grow up knowing that they will always have somebody around. Mom, dad, somebody will always be there. That's one thing I don't want to lose. Yeah, definitely. That's very good. I love hearing you speak on that. How do you think the fact that you're most of your family is another continent? How does that affect this environment that you're trying not to lose? Yeah. So again, it was affecting me a lot when I was by myself. And now I don't really feel it because again, I have so many people in my house. So but before yeah, I was crying sometimes just because I'm not built to be by myself. It's just my personality. I'm a people person. I love being around people, always laughing and having fun and stuff like that. So me being by myself for years was very hard and with the jet lag, it was sometimes difficult to have my mom or my sister on the phone because if I need them around 7 p.m., guess what? It's five hours later over there. So you know, it was during the night they were probably sleeping or something, and I would just serve me a glass of wine and cry just because I miss them. But it's great right now because again, I have children now. I usually have my mom coming to America for a few months. Then she goes, she comes back. It's either my mom or my aunt and my husband. He's amazing. We're besties. We do everything together. And plus I have friends too. So yeah, it's it's great right now. That's great. Yeah. And on the flip side, what are you most excited for your children to gain with the type of exposure you're giving them? I'm excited because I feel like there would be very, very open minded because they have so many cultures to deal with. You know, they know the African side. And we also have a goal where we want to take them back home every two years, maybe every year if possible. Because again, we don't want them to lose that aspect. We don't want them to lose that background. Plus, the other amazing part is the American culture, which is so different, so, so different. So to me, if you somehow get used to both, I mean, what a great plus. I mean, absolutely, I'm excited about who they're going to be with all this cultural aspect. I can't wait to see who they going to be, what they're going to be in the future to witness their growth. Exactly. Through, I mean, all that mix. Yeah. The mix that you are able to give them. That's beautiful. Yeah. Finally, where can people find you, connect with you about those recipes and learn from everything that you're sharing online so you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok. Okay, YouTube as well. And it's Miss Louise. Lulu Jadu for Facebook. Everything else is Miss Louise and it's Miss Duck's l o u To offer is whatever you are willing to offer. But there's also a limit is, you know, there's isn't about that. You can't go on there because you know that if something. But yeah, literally. But it really depends on the Spanish situation. But the more you gave, the more you show family that you country that don't have. So yeah, some people do crazy us in the financial situation. What's the minimum threshold. We're just even that even that means of the culture okay okay. For example. They say my single powerless side there was much my side. They ask us, so we follow the feeding. But what is it the lot or what is I think about May. I remember I was. Like a range of like, well, the money is safe. I would say nothing less than. Let's say $50 a month. Oh, okay. 50,000. But you know, and. Yeah, yeah, but that's like the first one. That's not a lot. Right. But let me say that's how solid. Yeah. No I guess but yeah, some people are really, you know, struggling. They just can't do more than that. Just. Yeah okay. Let's take a different approach on this. So let's say I'm a I'm, I'm, I'm a someone that wants to give a bell. Lily. Bible or they didn't ask for more. So I want to get that thing in. I want to marry her. She loved my life. Now I need to impress her family. Yeah. What would you recommend that I invest money wise, but also wise, money wise? Definitely no less than $2,000. Okay. Yeah. All right, you guys. And that is not going to be. So if you really want to pray together, you wanted to pass okay. Let's go. Let's just for the money. Yes. You also bring on the staff along with their money. We bring some Trishul attires, Chinese clothes. Well, in my case, I got the money. I'm not going to discuss it, but I have the money. I got some, purses, jewelry. That try to change your, There's also some, stuff. These are not expensive. I hope that they have to be perfect. They have a traditional significance. They have to be there. Is that, you know, I really don't know how to play, but it's something that's. How do you fall in your lap? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What does it represent? What is it? I was thinking, I don't know. Okay. But, the stuff that will lay on the ground, and it's like it will ask me, sisters. Especially if you know, so bad in my situation, if they're great to the communion, it's even if they are not physically, they will also receive as a commission. And the position of the collab will tell you if the. That actually makes a lot. Yes. Oh wow. So that's serious. Yes. They they can literally wait and intangible ahead of time. Okay. It is facing this way or that way is that if two of the five blocks. This is just the tip of the six. Yeah. After seeing that way, it's after they throw it in my case, the collective. So I so I was like, oh. Wow. So yeah. Yeah you can be in for a great surprise. Yes. Yes or no I mean we're not so good. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so you got the purses, you got the money, you've got the traditional clothing, the clubs there. Yeah. And then you also have to bring something for the that you can keep pass away. Just you have to do it just like if he was a, you know, a laugh. So grateful for that. Something along. And when I see something, I need money and buildings and bring other stuff to money but doesn't need it usually does include resting in the study for the. They will take you for what needs to be. They would give you the requirements. Okay, that was my next question because if you don't really know them yet, it could be tricky to know what to buy to make an impression. Yeah, but maybe there's like the list unless you know what the list is. But so list or personalize and then you can go by that. So it makes it easier, makes it so much easier if you want to be. I can't see that. And they also take optional okay. Do everything else optional that will require you have to. And if you don't you're not going to get the blessings in there. Yeah that can be a little frustrated with that. If everything is the blessing I to say, okay, is that part of your culture to how like there's negotiations? Yes, yes. Oh, tell us more about that. Like for example, during the wedding, if you give money and surprisingly feel like, that is always happy with that, they got a single plan to negotiate with the high school. Because if you don't feel like I can give you their daughters. So it has another picture to came to the next summer where, the bride, just not right away. So while all these negotiations are made by the singing, cheering or whatever, the conversations with the wife is not yet. Yet she's here for training up, blending up again, trying to champagne and. Yes, yes, I'll be providing, you know, some game having fun and what they have to do to keep the. Huge inside the dream. Or I'll just go for even a blanket whatever to cover. Maybe for ladies or freely or. And bring them in the Lord and crew in you. And you can choose who they're going to ask you. Don't ask him which one is your life and keep them. She's alive. Okay, so wait, is it just the face that's covered? Like they carry the body of the whole body? And you can't you even more than she's ladies who have the same type of time. Yeah I know. Yeah. Did that. I would say they did it for you. Yeah. No way. We like. He also feels. So he asked the advice of his own business and the sister. She chose the wrong person. If you do, they don't ask the Lord. Oh, you don't even know your life. But you know the 10,000 that they just thrown out just because of our choice. But fortunately for him, at the same time he chose life. But at first time he gave the Lord justice. He didn't know the truth. And keep asking yourself basis to choose for him. Teach yourself. Yes. Did she have. She did not want you to know what she does. You got to. She got she. He has to pay more money for that. Wow, I love it. Yes. And the type of waiting. Like I believe in in or what's the name of the winning? Well, it's just called the ducks. That it's. It's all the same thing in both cautious. Mine was we had to represent both cultures and they have different attires, different foods. So we try to it it was very well mixed. I had to wear. I took a change in the Bible as happened, and put out the Indian. And guess what? He's also put me where to go. So that's why I had to change. I had to change my salary three times. 3 or 4 times. Yeah. Is it just the one thing I was not seeing way. Yeah, yeah. That was not even good. Oh, you got a signal. We haven't done that yet coming up, but. Yeah. And then you're gonna have what kind of wedding in the future? Yeah. See the little one. But the main reason why we have to go back to the front of the back, because we feel like if we don't have any more people to pray over here, and you know that the things that in society. So it's easier to bring people from here to get more happy that she's had issues, you know. Yeah. So you need a or they need to go. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's all the time. And it wouldn't be a family job. They would be broken up. So I would say 0000 that's beautiful though. It's gonna get an amazing. But it sure. Okay. Well before we're all just going to put in, but I want to bring this back to our listeners. One of the questions we got is, how do you raise children to love their heritage in a country where they are surrounded by a different culture? Everything? Well, I wouldn't say it's easy, but, I just try my best to represent all sides because I'm like, I'm wondering, you know, we come together, you know? So I, I definitely feel that education, that culture I bring on the table, I bring food from, you know, all the cultures and to make it everything. So. So we just need to speak with whatever source, what is right. What ever and which is made up of back confusing yet get a full environment and then what is it? Yeah. We love you know. What are you most afraid of? Losing culture. I guess the, The fact that, back home, through a very good wishes and things, as a group mentioned earlier, I feel like I'm married to people on my soul. My name. Is and sounds until everything. And that's one thing that I heard. But First Nation on earth for going to those restored and seeing somebody who was up and difficult to make it all for us, and how I didn't have to get Jesus Christ somebody you always have someone with to encourage you. And I definitely don't have committee name. Because maybe they have not got a whole family of myself because I have my school. But beforehand I was never shut down in my apartment, and I feel like there's more starting to make me, introvert. Introvert. Yeah, I was starting to enjoy it was just not how, you know, I was so happy. And I don't want to be sad. I'm definitely going to blow up knowing that will always have. Sorry for mom. Had somebody who always be there. That's what they have. That. That's good. Good. I love hearing you speak on that. How do you think the fact that you're most of your family isn't another constant? How's that affect this environment that you're trying to put to use? Yeah. So, it, it it was affecting me a lot when I was. So now I will feel like I have so many people in my house, so, but before. Yeah, I was running sometimes just because I feel to be upset and this is just my personality, I would keep Morrison. I love being around people always about things and having fun, something like that. So we may find myself for years was very hard. And with jetpack it was some type of to have a horrible system of love because, if I need them around 70 and guess what? It's five hours later over there. So, you know, it was I see something and I was just so the best of life and. Right. Just because I miss them. But, it's a great time now because again, I have children now. I usually have a home office for a few months, and she knows she comes back. It's either my mom on my mom's. My dad, he's amazing things together because I have plans to have. And this is great. That's great. Yeah. And all the flip side learning subsided for your children to make with the type of exposure for giving them my side, because I feel like they will be very helpful in my name, because they have so many cultures to deal with. You know, they know that I can sign. And we also have to go back home and make this way up here because. Because it means that I say I love this means that plus the other amazing part is the other option which is so different sorts of different. So to me, if you somehow get used to both, I mean, what a great class. I mean, I'm excited to have to be with all this function aspect. I can't seem to get what they have to witness. They're grown. And through all that makes. Yeah, that makes that you have to give them the. Finally working people find you fully. You, connect with you about those recipes and learn from everything that you're sharing a line so you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat X okay. YouTube as well. And it's. You for Facebook. Everything else is missing piece and expand. And that's l o u the number 8CG. Perfect. We'll add that in the show at the as well. Yeah. No. Next for you. Yes. Yes. Yeah yeah yeah. Carry your story. Thank you so much. And really, your story reminds us that language is not just a vacation. It's inheritance. That food is memory and access or strength. And we should provide them. So, Yeah, I've learned to, through your story that home can be different places. Yes. And so I think sometimes it's frankly, And sometimes it's that way. Yes. But if you love this episode, share with someone that's racing bilingual children, either medicating immigration or just want to expose themselves to more culture. And in the meantime, keep exploring. Thank you so much. We love. Transit. It was fun.